It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you

Interview with Mieke Damen, Vice President Operations of Mexx Europe, EuropeanPWN corporate partner and sponsor of our Women@Work publication no 7: ‘Mentoring – A Powerful Tool for Women’.

Mieke Damen is Vice President Operations of Mexx Europe

How does Mieke see mentoring as a tool for women’s leadership development? What value, if any, did mentoring bring to her own career? Are there differences between how men and women perceive mentoring? What advice can she give us? We addressed these questions in an exclusive interview at the occasion of the launch of our newest book at International Women’s Day 2007.

Career driver

After an impressive career of more than 20 years at Mexx, Mieke was appointed to the highest echelon last year. She is now responsible for the full back office of this global fashion company which employs 6000 people world wide. She states that her active use of mentoring has been crucial in her career: “I always had mentors: senior executive men who formally and informally helped me better understand the culture of the organization and operate more effectively in it.

For me mentoring was about learning, growing as a manager and developing my talents. At the same time, I have always been a mentor myself to many executives, both men and women”.

Creating connections

“Making connections and becoming known is key to a successful career. And what better way of becoming known than actively engaging in mentoring relationships? The best piece of advice one of my mentors gave me was: “It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you”. When I realized that mentoring was an excellent way of building relationships outside the hierarchical structure, I became motivated to create connections in every area and at every level in the organization. ”

Relationship for learning

Within Mexx mentoring is considered to be a highly effective tool for professional development. “We actively encourage employees to approach a person they can relate to as a mentor and build a relationship for learning. Informal mentoring is as important as formal and structured relationships, and you need both to succeed. In the United States we developed a specific program for our senior women. In this program the women discuss issues of common interest with peers in the form of group mentoring with women from other New York based companies. It was amazing to see the effect of group mentoring. Through exchanging experiences with other senior women who are ‘in the same place’, women become more empowered, knowledgeable and confident. Although Mexx employs around 500 women in Holland, they are still underrepresented in management functions (35%). One of the measures we are taking to improve the situation is to expand the group mentoring program further into Europe. Partnering with EuropeanPWN and sponsoring the publication are other ways of promoting leadership development of women and men in our organization”.

From chemistry to challenge

Executives often report significant changes in the way they use mentoring throughout their career and Mieke is no exception: “In my early years I looked for mentors who were in the same place as I was, often peers and often women. Chemistry was all important to me as it allowed me to be open and feel comfortable sharing personal issues. Now, in a senior management position, I find myself actively looking for mentors that are very different – diverse in background, education, nationality, culture and so on. Mentoring nowadays is about challenging my own beliefs and values. It creates another level of energy to connect to people I do not have chemistry with and explore other ways of learning from them”.

Mentoring men vs. mentoring women

Men and women enter into mentoring programs with different objectives. “Generally speaking men are more status conscious and will look for a mentor that brings certain ‘career benefits’ like important contacts or strategic influence. Women are primarily focused on learning and exchanging experiences in a safe environment. Women often prefer peer mentoring and mentoring circles whereas men are more comfortable in private sessions. I have also observed differences in the topics for discussion. Women often feel very responsible for everything that is going on, even if they are not formally responsible for it. Combined with our capacity for multitasking, we sometimes lose focus. One of the lessons I learned from my mentors is to concentrate on what’s really important and let go of this feeling of being responsible for everything. Another difference I have noticed in my mentoring talks is how women can get so overwhelmed by emotions that they react in a less effective way. With my female mentees I have a standard arrangement: if something really upsets you, don’t cry in front of your male colleagues, but come to me. A box of tissues is always at hand in my office. And to my male mentees I simply explain that a crying woman is not something to be afraid of; we just show our emotions in a different way.”

Top 3 Tips

Mieke concludes with the following advice:

“Don’t be shy but take the initiative to approach a senior executive and ask him or her for advice. Start an informal mentoring relationship if your company does not have a formalized program. You will experience that most senior executives are very willing to share their experiences with you.
Do not always follow the advice of your mentor but stay true to yourself. For instance, if you don’t feel comfortable with the sometimes aggressive self-promotion needed to ask your CEO to become your mentor, find a place, time and manner to do it in your own way.